Royal Danger

by The Kujo Kings

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released March 1, 2019


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The Kujo Kings Melbourne, Australia

Unleash your inner Kujo.

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Track Name: Party in the A.M.
11:30 on a Sunday evening isn’t all that late
There’s an easy way to make sure that your mind is in good state
Alcohol is a mechanism to cope with fear
If you drink to soon, you’ll be gone by noon
We welcome you to
Party in the morning (party)
Ain’t a time for tea (or coffee)
We can dance the day away ‘cause who needs work and money?
With the sunlight fading (too cold)
It’s time to get tucked in (‘cause we’re old)
Have a nap and then another party, come the morning
9:30 on a Monday morning isn’t all that late
You’re feeling optimistic that the noise restrictions are okay
And it doesn’t really matter, the neighbours are at work
But you’re kinda close to an overdose
It’s time to learn that
11:30 on a Sunday evening is getting pretty late
‘Cause there’s an easy way to make sure that your mind is in good state
You don’t need to be smokin reefer, you don’t need beer
Ah but what the heck, how bad can it get?
This baby’s gonna burst!
Party in the morning (party)
Should be time for tea (or coffee)
We should all be spending our time wisely, earning money
When the party’s over (no one)
We’ll go around again (has more fun)
Tonight we’re gonna party, I’m not waiting ‘til the morning
Track Name: Bass Fish
When I was just a small bass fish living under the sea
I was approached while singing by the record company
They said, 'Boy, we’re gonna make you a bass fish celebrity
And all around the world we’ll see you on TV'
They gave me the soggy papers and I signed up quickly
Said goodbye to all my friends, and all my family
Hopped inside the car, knew I’d be a star
All the money that I needed was contained in the offer
Bass fish
Well the studio was filled with other bass fish just like me
Singing one song over and over while they waited patiently
Called in one by one, and stuck onto a frame
Press the red button and make you sing and lift your head with shame
I was totally in shock, I thought I’d be a star
An advertisement on TV is not what I’d signed up for
I tried to swim away, but before too long
I was packaged up and destined to forever sing that song
Well they told me that I’d be a bass fish celebrity
But I was just one of the hundreds shipped around the country
Sold out to the world by the record company
You don’t wanna be a bass fish like me
Two pints of booze
Tell me are you a bass fish too?
Well I’ve been stuck here on this wall for two years, yes it’s true
But the sink is just below me so this is what I’ll do
I’ll fall into the water and I’ll swim down the drain
Find those record company fish that put me through this pain
I’ll box them up as a limited edition singing fish
That’ll end up in the home of some large family that is rich
Those kids will press the red button until their time has come
And those fish will never forget the injustice that was done
Australian Bass, Chilean Bass, Largemouth Bass, Black Sea Bass, Giant Sea bass, European Bass, Choctaw Bass, Smallmouth Bass, Japanese Bass, Blackfin Bass, Striped Bass, White Bass, Spotted Bass, Guadalupe Bass, Coca Cola Bass, Pepsi Bass, Hughie Hanily Bass, Wall-singing Bass
Track Name: Birthday Suit
I’m upstairs getting ready
Now it’s time to hurry, I’ll be late
Dinner with the inlaws
Gotta make them think that I’m okay
My spirit starts to tremble
What is semi-formal anyway
Today is supposed to be an easy day for me
Now I’ve got no choice but to get out the door
For my birthday I wanna wear
Something that’ll make you wanna stare
All my friends are joining the trend
I can’t wait to get in my favourite birthday suit
Although outside it’s nippy
Time has come to strippy, ain’t no shame
The inlaws seem disgusted
But they really wish they’d done the same
The party was a flop so
Why should I listen to what they say?
Although it needs an iron
You should really try on yours today
Do do do do do do do
Come on everybody it’s a hoot
Don’t offend, just join in the trend
You won’t know if you don’t try it
You don’t even have to buy it
I can’t wait to see you in your birthday suit
Track Name: Strange
I’m a man who can fight the feelin’
But I bet you’d never catch me squealin’
Even if I knew a mate was stealin’
I’m not a sponge here to suck the fun
But I’m not saying I could outdrink anyone
Don’t get me wrong
You can still have your bong
I love how it makes everyone become a little bit strange
So let’s all get together and be strange
If I’m square, I’ll keep my corners in check
They won’t get in the way or ever puncture the wreck
The ball you call yourself to cover your mess
My shape is no worse than yours, in fact I think you’re strange
You’re all strange, come have a sip and I’ll watch you change
I love how it can turn into disaster
Any less than that, you are the master
I’ll watch you ‘til you think my hair is pasta
Still, I’m a man who can fight the feelin’
The shape my habits form is not who I am
Come have a sniff and I’ll watch as you change
Come have a toke and I’ll watch as you change
Danny’s got these problems in your head
You’re not the only one
Summer’s gonna bring the best of him out
Even if he has a come down-a for a while
There’s too much fun to lose
Track Name: Diggin'
Enter into a world of blocks
Made of all kinds of rocks
Arms and legs with only single-joints
My name is big_steve
And we are on a journey (build a base)
To find the nether (on our way)
On the way we’ll punch down lots of trees
Whose leaves, they never fall
Digging into another world
With survival our primary goal (we’re on our way)
We’ll reach the nether with a sword of light blue diamond
And watch the zombie pigmen fall
Gather online with all your mates
And build yourselves an epic base
All the evil mobs can fuck right off
We don’t wish to respawn
And while the pigs are waiting (dig a pit)
To become pork chops (kill a pig)
We’ve crafted up a tasty chicken roast
So be there and be square
Suspended rock debris
Creepers, get away from me
Herobrine has been removed
Track Name: Zombie Bride
We fight to live another day
Wondering away-oh
Will anybody save us
From gettin’ bitten by this race?
A lady shows up at my door
One thing I’m sure of
She wants some more of
The flesh she’s been craving
Despite the blood all over her face
She hits me with a cute stare
I wonder if an undead chick may love me
Now I, I just want to say
'Will you be my zombie bride?'
I’d clean your clothes, and I’d feed you brains
If you’ll be my zombie bride one day
The wedding was a raging success
Stumbling all ‘round the dancefloor
Ate so much I couldn’t hardly stand straight
Now I’m a dopey disgrace
Here with my zombie bride
We moan and grunt to communicate
Me and my zombie bride, she’s a babe
Track Name: At the Market
In downtown, there is a place where good people go
It's not like any other day with friends and foes
Mum, Dad, and all of the family – entry is free
The Friday Noodle Night Market is where I'll be
Killed by a gangster, cold-blooded while eating a pad Thai
Black bean is not for me
Although I couldn't swallow, I could taste that I'm glad I decided
To order takeaway
At the market in the city
Where the stir fry's extra gritty
Come try the special egg noodle Hokkien mee
You might just find yourself friendly new company
I found new company but that's where I went wrong
The Friday Noodle Night Market's Wesley Wonton
It wasn't my ambition to become an Asian delicacy
I always thought I'd be a dentist
Cut into tiny pieces, now I can see why they call it a 'me' goreng
Because it's really me
At the market in the city
Getting cooked up, kinda shitty
Oriental summer noodle
At the market in the city
Track Name: Flappy Bird
I sat my driver’s licence test and passed it on the first attempt
I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in marketing
I play in a band, speak French, I cook and also have the best girlfriend
But then to top it off (what a guy!)
My greatest masterpiece (wait, there’s more?)
The best moment of my life was when I got a hundred on Flappy Bird
I found the cure for a terminal disease and met the queen
Carried the Aussie flag at the Olympic Games where I won gold
My face is on the front of every bus and all the magazines
I earn enough to feed a starving, poor country. And I do
The day I died, I went to heaven and God said, ‘You are the best
Son I have ever had but boy, your task has only just begun
So back you go and don’t return ‘til your top score reads ‘two, oh, oh’
Now here I am today (jobless bum!)
Lonely without a friend (on his phone!)
Trying so desperately (‘til you die!)
Won’t someone kill me now, this game is a fucking piece of shit!
Track Name: Dragon Cool
Flying through the air without a care
Look to the horizon, a village there
I flap my wings and they beat with power
As I circle on down to devour
Humans are a food that I like most
From my mouth rains fire, the village is toast
I fly on down, I don’t have to be stealthy
I'm a dragon, I’m cool, and I'm wealthy
Let’s all get together, get on the wagon
Destroy our towns ‘cause we’re dragons
We’re just flying around, but don’t go laggin’
Try to keep up with the dragons
I've destroyed this town with one small toke
I blow it away, a ring of smoke
And those who’ve survived have all learned a lesson
If you wanna survive, you can’t be second guessin’
So they get together with their pals
The only way to win is be a dragon yourself
Come take a drag and let’s blow some smoke rings
So happy with how they look they start to sing
We don’t choose to be mean, so don’t be baggin’
This is the way of the dragons
Slowly, slowly, everyone starts to notice
The happy ones are the ones who are the smokers
Dragon cool, join in the hype
Just gather what burns and light the pipe
But I'm lazy, I don’t wanna bother
Why would I grow when I can buy it for a dollar?
More and more people become dragon cool
They fly around destroying towns and killing fools
All our gang is up here, so grab a fag and
Join in with your fellow dragons
Destroy our lungs ‘cause we’re dragons
Track Name: Wifi Today
Stream a TV show after work, you know
Is how to wind down these days
Let me tell you of a time when it didn’t work so smoothly for me
In fact, the movie stopped
Couldn’t fix it, so I got on the phone
But the company made me wait
Everybody in the suburb started spilling on to the street
Ready to start a fight
Soldiers all for one, we want our internet
So come the morning sun, there’ll be a strong connection
Soon there will be blood if we don’t get wifi today
Sir, please rest assured trained professionals
Are working around the clock
I understand you’re not too happy, but it won’t make any difference
Please sir, don’t make a scene
Come, tonight’s the night, citizens unite
The enemy won’t back down
Grab your wife and grab your knife and a shovel each for all your children
They will be digging graves
Soldiers all for one, we now have internet
So please put down your guns, there is a strong connection
Streaming has begun, there’s no more need for blood today
Track Name: Clean Underwear, Fresh Tupperware
Last day of every month, I swear
My bank is empty, and I just have to eat bread
Dust gathering, it’s clear to see
The vacuum cleaner is an ancient memory
Shit hand-me-downs that no one wants
The only furniture that I can call my own
Freedom to do whatever I want
But there’s no satisfaction
I’m alone (he’s alone)
In this dump I call my home (all alone)
Where’s my gun?
Clean underwear, fresh Tupperware
Home cooking every night, I swear
It would be rad living with Mum and Dad
I’m still here (he’s still here)
In the land of month-old beer (month-old beer)
Something died under the chair
If things don’t improve, beware
That body could be me
No shitty chores, dickhead landlords
Weekly shopping that I can’t afford
I cannot wait, this new life could be great
I’d pay my way living with Mum and Dad
Hugs everyday living with Mum and Dad
Clean underwear, fresh Tupperware
Living with Mum and Dad
Track Name: The Lonely Pilot
Good morning Captain, how do you do?
I’m in the mood for a flight
Let’s cruise around where we can’t be found
And stay out into the night
Good morning Captain, I’m feeling fine
You always knew how to please
With solitude at high altitude
There ain’t a soul who can tease
When he was a young little juvenile
He loved his soccer and his basketball
Always playing games, he would self-exile
Never, ever coexist at all
To everybody he was a special child
Flying solo since he learned to crawl
And now the silence is getting old
Let’s fly, myself and I
Like a dragon way above the clouds
No one can bring this pilot down
Old friend, until the end
The other children all misunderstood
Together we can go higher and never fall
We are the dwellers of the clouds
Track Name: Get Out Your Cash
The streets are quiet and it’s business time
I think I’m ready for another crime so let’s
Choose a bank or large-scale liquor store
And don’t get in my way
Inside the door
Where security is kinda poor, given
One perfect day, you could never say
Should end up quite like this
Now everyone, get on the ground
Don’t even make a sound
It’s time to slowly take your money out
Give it all to me, pretty soon you’ll see
What a time you had when you decided to get out your cash
Don’t want your Visa or your Mastercard
I couldn’t give a fuck!
Yen, Euros, Dollars, Pounds
Every currency feels so good to me
When you wave it all around and shake it for the world to see
Get out your cash

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